Saturday, January 15, 2005

General Human Observations

Generally I think that humans are pretty funny to watch. In my recent travels and inter-action with fellow human beings I have noticed the following behaviors;

Mothers dragging their screaming red-faced children from grocery stores, libraries, restaurants. Nothing abnormal about this except most of these 'mothers' are children themselves and watching a 17yr old wrestle with a 4 yr old is very humorous in a sick way. My other favorite it the 'coddling' mom who has to carry their 11yr old because that's what little Johnny wants her to do....that one always cracks me up!

People, especially women dress inappropriately for the situation or their age. You know what I mean. The lady who's well into middle age who still insists on wearing clothing meant for the high school group. Now I don't dress like an old lady by any means BUT if God had wanted me to pierce my navel and wear below the pubic bone jeans he would have meant for us to never have children! Same goes for spandex pants....Ladies they belong either in the gym (which isn't really that tasteful to the rest of the population unless you have the figure of a super model) or in the privacy of your own home. They do not belong on anyone's rear end who's over the age of 6! Also cocktail type dresses that are cut down to 'there' or up to 'there' and that show a beer gut larger than Mariah Carey's do not belong at weddings or any type of event that the lights may be on!

My last observation is directed to the SUV set. Now if you need to drive that type of vehicle because you live in a very rural area and have a bunch of kids or you make your living trapping and tagging bears for the forest service then this doesn't pertain to you! If you drive an SUV please STOP driving like a grandma' going to church on Sunday! Move the heck out of the way during snow storms if you don't have the confidence to go over 15mph as my car has NO traction if I don't at least have all four of my wheels moving! You'll notice my car, it's the bright yellow one approx. 15 cars behind you and I have been for the last 25 miles as you are to scared to pull over! The smaller the owner the larger the SUV. Maybe they should have weight minimums that the drivers have to meet before they can purchase one? If you weigh 90lbs and are 4'11 you should NOT be driving a Hummer, a Denali or anything that resembles a cruise ship! Oh and remember ladies and gentlemen 4WD does NOT mean 4WS as in four wheel stop!

That's all for today. Though I am sure that I will have more people who insist on having children only to toss them outside early in the morning so they can stay in bed all day in a feeble attempt to cure their daily hangover.....but that's for another time!


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