Thursday, June 07, 2012

Rain: A True Story

Today it rained for the 232nd day.  It's all very sad and utterly horribly depressing.  Especially since I used the words utterly and horribly together which looks silly.

On the first day it rained we were all like "cool" since it makes the grass green and the flowers grow.  On the 2nd day it rained we were all like "hmm OK" since we have plenty of DVR'd shows to watch and books to read.  On the 3rd day it rained we were all like "sigh OK" since we could have pajama day and eat soup and play board games and finish those books we started.

On the 14th day we started looking for wood to build an ark.  By started I mean we looked out the window and pointed out pieces of scrap wood we could use but no one wanted to actually go out to get because it was raining.  We also had an issue with the whole two animals of each species thing because no one told me the penguins were not speaking to each other and the giraffes were nervous about sitting next to the lions.  Why is everyone so damn picky?

On the 52nd day of rain we just said "fuck it" and laid ourselves down on the sofa and sobbed and kicked our feet because it bordered on ridiculous since it's suppose to be NICE OUT!  The weather man on TV has stopped reporting on the weather.  He just sits in his cheap plaid sports jacket and stares and blinks when the camera is turned to him.  I believe he has no tears left to weep.

Right around the 84th day we took up basket weaving since the nice people in the white coats said it would be relaxing.  I tried to make a basket weaved rope to escape to a place with sun and then realized I was just watching a really bad episode of the Dr. Phil show so I sat back down on the couch and had another glass of wine.

I can't even remember the other 150 plus days.  They've all run together. I do vaguely recall picking moss off my shoulders.  It possibly was green dandruff but moss sounds more "rainy" and disturbingly gross. We've become sloth like in appearance. For some of us that is an upgrade.

OK actually it's only rained six days.  Six whole says with rain.  The sun made the mistake of coming out yesterday and then it promptly started to rain.  It came out today too and either it started to pour or the house is sweating which would be sort of odd but then this is Maine which means somehow it's probably possible.

Probably possible in the same sentence.  I fear I'm running out of words......

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