Saturday, October 13, 2012

Things Our Parents Said (Boomer Edition)

I often find myself saying quite a few of the phrases my parents said to me and my siblings when I was a kid.  I started thinking of them today after I posted on Facebook; that evil vile time wasting soul sucking place where I spend way to much time. Anyhow posted whether or not Chinese parents said to their kids "what are you doing, digging a hole to America" like my parents did when they used the "hole to China" reference.

Here are some of the phrases I remember.  Did your parents use them?  Can you remember any I've forgotten about?

1. What are you doing?  Digging a hole to China?
2. Are you on a slow boat to China?
3. Finish that food, there are starving children in China who'd appreciate it! (for the record it is NOT a good idea to offer to send said food to the starving children in China - goes over like a lead balloon).
4. Keep making faces like that and your face will stay that way.
5. Stop rolling your eyes or they will get stuck near your brain.
6. You'll have gorilla hands if you keep cracking your knuckles and it's not very lady like.
7. Keep picking your nose and you'll hit your brain (I for the record did not pick my nose a nameless sibling did though).
8. You think that's funny?  I'll show you funny (which ended up not being funny just painful).
9. I ought to smack the dumb out of you.
10. Don't you "but Ma me".
11. Listen to your mother before I kill you.
12.  Don't make me go up there!
13. If I go back there you're all dead.
14. Wipe that smirk off your face or I"ll wipe it off for you.
15. Stop changing the TV so fast you'll mess up the stations (like we could "control" the stations).
16. You'll get worms (parasites, a disease) if you keep putting stuff from the ground into your mouth.
17. Jesus, Mary, & Joseph are you that slow?
18.  If all your friends jump off a bridge would you do it too?
19. When I was your age I was lucky I had a stick and a rock to play with!
20. My house, my rules, don't like it get a job and move out (yeah I'm 12..good play dad, good play).
21. Sure keep holding your breath and one of these days you won't get it back!
22. Who in God's name though this would be a good idea?  You? Or you?  Or was it YOU?
23. If you don't stop crying I"ll give you something to cry about!
24. Did you comb your hair?  With what a rake?
25. Did you brush your teeth?  Every tooth or only a couple of them?
26. Pick up your stuff or I'll pick it up for you and you'll never see them again (sending them to starving kids in China).
27. Were you always this dumb and we never noticed?
28. Use some common sense! Am I raising an idiot?
29. See that bright light in the sky, it's the SUN...Go play outside NOW!
30. Oh MY GOD you wore that outside the house?
And the final one - one of my dad's all time favorites...

YOU Goddamn Fools!

Unfortunately her face did stay like this....See #4 

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