Friday, July 18, 2014

Summer Yes Summer!

Ahh summer you sweet sweet thing! I'm so happy for your return. Even on the days where I get that little pool of sweat under my boobs I rejoice in your appearance.

During the official three weeks of summer we have here in North of Common Sense we all frolic in our near nakedness. It cools us off and a little color makes it easier to find us in the inevitable and impending blizzard of white crap. This is our time world! Forget your soccer or f├╝tball or whatever you want to call it. We have skinny dipping chunky monkey pool and pond days. We collectively tan our cheeks on both ends. We. Turn. Off. The. Heat - take THAT OPEC!

For entertainment by the light of the fire pit we roast wieners and pull tics off each other while balancing cold Canadian beer on our knees (none of that rocky mountain crap for us). We are brave, we are strong, and once we were even young! We sacrifice countless marshmallows or throw searing hot flaming ones at each other while playing Run Fatty Run. A game made up by one of my psycho family members. We are required to have capital F Fun.

This could explain my lack of invites this summer. I will
for the record eat chicken and fish and cake!

We are fond of cut off shorts w/one leg longer than the other. Shirts from imaginary 5ks we've run bought almost new from the Goodwill near the liquor store, beat up Red Sox ball caps and mismatched flip flops. We may be missing a toe or two by the first week in August but God gave us 7 or 8 more to work with. We smell like an odd mixture of Banana Boat & Skin So Soft.

We shave it, pierce it, tattoo it and tan it! We show it all loud and proud. Our favorite summer game is "Fireworks or Gunshots" and our favorite summer activity is going to the drive in even if that only means parking in front of our neighbors house who has the big picture window and HBO. If we lack transport we aren't shy and have webbed lawn chairs from the Woolworth going out of business sale circa 1974.

So get out and find some fun. Light a couple of sparklers and have a one man speedo parade around the block. Go to a touristy water park and deflate all the inner tubes or toss your kids in the ice cold ocean and get that lifeguard off his butt to earn his minimum wage. Shake it up, don't sit in the shade but for heaven sakes remember to apply your own sunscreen.

Hmmm I'm not sure I'd be this happy. 

And remember whales pee in the ocean. Don't sweat it. It's probably cleaner than the public restrooms.

Ride on summer...ride on!

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